Those Damn Lamps
by ice-woman
Summary: A humorous HB fic...where a night of passion nearly sets Bobby's office on fire...rr!


This is a bit of a humorous Helen/Bobby story I wrote purely for fun one time. However, if you guys like it, I will continue it. Don't worry, I'll still update "Only A Matter of Time"…I promise!

XXXXXX

            Helen drummed her fingers on her legs anxiously as she waited for the elevator to open.  She was crammed inside with a bunch of people she had never met before.  One guy was brushing up against her, and she knew it was anything but accidental.  Another kept shooting her flirtatious looks and winking at her.

            She groaned in disgust.  Normally this type of thing wouldn't bother her.  Hell, half the time she'd be flirting back twice as hard, but she wasn't in the mood.  She had a lot on her mind.  She was on her way to see Bobby at his office.  The two were supposed to go out tonight, however she wasn't so sure she felt up to it.  After just figuring out that your best friend and boyfriend used to go at it, possibly while you were seeing him, you'd feel the same way.

            Helen let out a sigh of relief as the elevator opened and she pushed her way off.  One guy from the elevator reached out and grabbed her arm, but one silencing look was all it took to get rid of him.  

            She continued towards Bobby's office, half expecting to find Lindsay and Bobby kissing as she opened the door.  She shook her head.  She was acting crazy.  Here she was playing the part of the jealous girlfriend, something she never in a million years pictured herself doing.  Lindsay was her best friend, she told herself.  She'd never do anything to hurt you.  That's why she came clean about this in the first place…right? 

            Thrusting these thoughts from her head, Helen continued down the hallway to the firm's office.  As she reached the door, Rebecca stepped out, carrying her briefcase and a large stack of files.

            "Helen," she said, a bit startled to have run into her.  "Uh…Bobby's still inside.  Maybe you can get him to leave his office.  His eyes haven't darted from the computer all evening."

            Helen rolled her eyes.  That was Bobby for you, an all-out workaholic.  She noticed Rebecca's cold glare underneath of her seemingly good-natured smile.  She knew that Rebecca didn't approve of her relationship with Bobby.  Rebecca didn't hide how much she detested their dating, but, gradually, she began keeping her thoughts to herself whenever Helen was around.  But that didn't mean that she had finally accepted her as Bobby's girlfriend.

            "I'll see what I can do," Helen promised, walking into the office.  Every light was out except for the dim glow coming from Bobby's office.  She made her way around Rebecca's desk to Bobby's office door.  She pulled it open and then turned the lights off.

            "Rebecca," he remarked gruffly.  "Give it up, I'm not leaving.  Now turn the light back on and go home and get some sleep."

            Helen smiled, knowing he couldn't see her.  The only light in the room was coming off of the computer screen that Bobby's eyes were glued to.  Helen crept up behind Bobby's desk, planning her next move.

            "Beck, go home," he replied wearily.  "I'm not leaving this room, so stop bothering me."

            He stopped typing suddenly, aware of the smell of a familiar perfume.  It definitely wasn't Rebecca behind him.

            "Well," Helen said, wrapping her arms around his neck.  "If you're sure you don't want to leave this room then maybe we should…"

            Bobby grinned, turning around in his chair to face her.  He pulled her down onto his lap and kissed her.  "Hey," he said.

            "Hey," she replied.  "I tried calling earlier.  Left a message with Rebecca.  I take it that whatever you're working on is more important than me?"

            Bobby wrapped his arm around her.  "I never got the message," he said.  "Beck never even told me you called."

            Helen rolled her eyes.  "Figures," she remarked.  "I take it she _still_ doesn't like me."

            "Don't take it personally."

            "Okay…she doesn't like me, but I shouldn't take that personally?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow.  "You care to elaborate on that one?"

            Bobby sighed.  "She hasn't liked any of my girlfriends for the fast few years," he began.  "She's just a really good friend, and she thinks every girl I date has it in for me.  And so far, she's been right…more or less."

            Helen pushed her hair out of her face and smiled at him.  "So then, do you think that she's right about me?  Since you know, she's _never_ been wrong before."

            Bobby smiled.  "Well there's a first time for everything," he remarked, pulling her closer to him.  She leaned back onto his chest and ran her right hand down his arm to his hand, entwining his fingers with hers.  He caressed her hair with his free hand, taking in the sight, the smell, the touch of her.  She tilted her head to face him and leaned forward as their lips met.  He ran his hand down her back as the kiss deepened.  Helen moved her hands up his chest and around his neck as he swept her up and carried her over to the door.

            "Where're we going?" she asked inquisitively, her arms still clinging to his neck.

            He smiled.  "Somewhere a bit more comfortable," he said, opening the door with one free hand.

            Helen lowered one hand and pushed the door shut.  Bobby shot her a questioning look.  "Well," she began.  "You said you weren't leaving this office.  I'm here to make sure you stay true to your word."

            He grinned broadly, bringing her over to his couch.  She dropped down onto the couch, as he leaned over her, his eyes luminous.  Helen grabbed his tie, pulling him down on top of her.  She moaned in pleasure as he kissed her neck and without another thought, she kicked her shoes off.

XXXXXX

            Helen awoke at the sound of a door opening and shutting.  She shot up and realized that she was in Bobby's office.  She turned and shook Bobby, who was still sleeping on the couch.  He woke up slowly as she heard the jingling of keys and the pouring of coffee.

            "Bobby, I think Rebecca's here," she hissed.

            Bobby sprung up instantly as Helen gathered her clothes and slipped them on.  Bobby did the same as they heard Rebecca approach the door.  Helen and Bobby exchanged horrified looks as the doorknob turned.  Helen dove behind the couch as the door was pushed open and Rebecca groaned.

            "Bobby, I swear, if I have to, I'm going to start dragging you out of this office at night!  You need to go home!  This job already rules your life, the least you can do is go home and get a good night's sleep!"

            Rebecca threw her hands on her hips and shot him a disgusted look.  "You live like an animal!" she remarked, eyeing an empty pizza box on the floor.

            "Yeah, well, guess I can't have it all," he said smiling.

            Rebecca rolled her eyes and shook her head.  "Your suit's wrinkled, your hair's a mess, and you have clients coming in one hour.  Now get up off your lazy ass and make yourself look presentable!"

            Rebecca slammed the door shut and walked back to her desk.

            As soon as Rebecca left, Bobby flipped around and peered behind the couch.  "You okay?" he asked.  She had hit the floor pretty forcefully when she jumped behind there.

            Helen smiled.  "Fine," she said, getting to her feet and dusting herself off.  "Um…how exactly do you plan on getting me out of here, undetected?"

            "Wait by the door," he ordered, rushing out of his office.  He walked past Rebecca and strode into the bathroom.  "Hey Beck!" he called after a few minutes.  "This your purse?" he asked, knowing full well it was Lindsay's.

            "I don't think so," Rebecca said, eyeing her purse on her desk.  Helen stuck her head out of the door and watched as Rebecca ambled into the bathroom.  Helen rushed through the door and ran through the office to the front door.  She turned the doorknob quietly, so as not to alert Rebecca.  She flung the door open, nearly gasping as she became face to face with Lindsay.

            "Hel…" she began, but Helen covered her mouth.  Lindsay glared at her, alarmed, but Helen just held a finger to her lips.  "I'll tell you later," she whispered, pushing past her and running down the hallway.

            Lindsay still had a startled look on her face as Bobby and Rebecca came out of the bathroom.

            "Hey Linds," Beck replied, noting her baffled look.  "What's wrong?!"

            "I…Helen just…why was she…" she started, still trying to figure out what was going on.

            Bobby opened his mouth to explain, but closed it, not wanting to give the real explanation.

            Rebecca nodded and shook her head.  "Was she?  When I came in your office and…"  She crossed her arms, demanding an explanation.

            "Wait, wait, wait…you and Helen…here?" Lindsay asked, suddenly repulsed by the sight of his office.  "Eww!"

            Bobby rolled his eyes.  He was about to point out that they too had done the same thing when he was with her, but when their eyes met, she turned away, blushing.  He laughed as he realized that she was thinking the same thing he was.

            Rebecca flung her hands it the air, and spun around, her braids flying everywhere.  "I don't even want to know," she said, sitting back down at her desk.  

XXXXXX            

            "Helen!" Lindsay called, rushing out of the elevator towards her friend.  "Hey, what's up?"

            "Hey Linds," she replied, ending a conversation she had been having with her boss Kate.  

            "So?" Lindsay asked grinning.

            "So…what?" Helen asked, oblivious to what was on Lindsay's mind.

            Lindsay lowered her voice and smiled.  "So, you left your bra on Bobby's lampshade," she said grinning.  "It could have been a real fire hazard."

            "Yeah well, I was asked to put you guys out of business, so I figured what the hell, might as well burn them and have a little fun beforehand," she remarked.  Then she paused.  "Nobody…nobody saw…"

            Lindsay laughed.  "Well, after you left, Rebecca kind of figured it out.  But as for your bra, I'm the one who pointed that out to Bobby."

            "Well at least the whole firm doesn't know," she replied.

            "Please," Lindsay said.  "Rebecca knows!  It's only a matter of time before they find out.  Lunch?"

            "Can't," Helen said.  "Plans."

            "Ah," Lindsay remarked nodding.  "Could they possibly involve the senior partner of my firm?"       

            "Mmm…guilty," Helen smiled voluptuously.

            Lindsay shook her head.  "Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd think that you were letting a guy come between our friendship," Lindsay taunted.

            "Chill Linds," Helen said, walking down the corridor that led to her office.  "You always come first, you know that."

            She sighed.  "I know," she said dramatically.  "Just love to hear you say it!"

            Helen rolled her eyes.  "Well then in that case, I'll leave my bra on _your_ lampshade tonight…just to show I care."

            Helen laughed as she left Lindsay shocked, standing outside of her office door.

XXXXXX

"This seat taken?" Bobby joked, sitting down next to Helen at the barstool in McCall's.

            "Yeah, I'm waiting for my boyfriend," she said casually.  "I guess you can hang around until he gets here."

            He smiled and kissed her softly on the lips.  "How was your day so far?"

            She laughed.  "Well let's see," she began.  "I was late for a bail hearing because I had to change this morning, Hiller threw me in jail because I was "pissing her off", and the defendant on my rape case started hitting on me."

            Bobby laughed.  "That good huh?"

            "And," she continued with a wry smile.  "I went through all of this without my trusty push-up bra."

            "Yeah, I noticed that," he said.  "It seems to have developed an usual friendship with my office lamp."

            "So Lindsay says," Helen remarked.  "I guess in the rush of things I didn't even notice it was missing."

            "Well, it's a good thing Lindsay pointed it out right before my meeting," he replied.  "I just would have _loved_ having to explain that to everyone."

            Helen laughed and took a sip of her coffee.  "So, aside from the whole bra incident, how was your day?"

            "So far?  On the slow side actually.  A lot of paperwork," he replied.  "A few minor hearings and appeals, but nothing major.  I don't start any of my bigger trials until tomorrow."

            "Ah, all mine started today.  Nothing but aspirin and no sleep for the next few weeks," she remarked.  He laughed as she turned her stool to face him.  Over his shoulder she saw Lindsay sitting at a booth with a man Helen had never seen before.  "Who's that?" she asked Bobby pointing over his shoulder.

            Bobby spun around to meet Helen's glance.  He shook his head and turned back to face her.  "Don't know," he said.  "Never seen him before in my life."

            "Me either," Helen replied, puzzled.  "They've had to have gone out before though.  Lindsay's not the type to just sit down and have lunch with someone she doesn't know."

            "I know," he agreed.

            "Think she's been hiding him from us?" Helen asked.

            "It's a definite possibility," he said nodding.

            Helen grinned and hopped off her stool.  He grabbed his hand and yanked him off, leading him to the back corner of the room where Lindsay and the guy were sitting.

            "What are you doing?" Bobby asked through gritted teeth, not wanting Lindsay to hear him.

            "Reaffirming my suspicion," she remarked, pulling him over to their booth.

            "Lindsay!  Imagine meeting you here!" Helen exclaimed.  

            Lindsay looked over at her, her smile fading.  "Helen, Bobby." she remarked.  "What brings you two here."

            "Oh, we were just wandering around, you know," Helen said grinning.  "Who's your friend?"

            "Uh, this is Nick Chambers," she introduced them.  "Nick, this is the senior partner of the firm I belong to, Bobby Donnell and my roommate Helen Gamble."

            "Uh, hi," Nick said smiling.  "Uh, if you're just getting here would you like to join us?"

            "Uh, no that's…" Lindsay began.

            "Sure," Helen said, smiling deviously.

            She slid next to Lindsay as Bobby sat down rather reluctantly next to Nick.

            "So, Nick," Helen began.  "Tell, us what do you do for a living?  I'm sure it's a _fascinating _story."

            "Uh, while it is rather amusing, I'm afraid my _dear_ friend Helen and I have to be going to the bathroom," Lindsay remarked through gritted teeth and a plastered smile.

            Helen tilted her head and grinned.  "She's so in tune to my needs," she joked as Lindsay yanked her out of the booth and into the women's room.

            "Helen!" Lindsay remarked.

            "What?" Helen asked innocently.

            Lindsay rolled her eyes.  "What was _that_ little scene all about?" she demanded.

            "That was far from a scene," Helen started.  "If you want a scene, I can give you a scene.  And by the way, exactly how long have you been keeping this guy from me?"

            Lindsay sighed.  "That's not the point!  The point is…"

            "Lindsay," Helen remarked, raising an eyebrow.

            "Fine," Lindsay said.  "We've been dating for about two months now."

            "Two months!" Helen remarked.  "And how is it that I do not know about this!"

            Lindsay smiled.  "I hid it well.  Made excuses like going to the office or staying late.  And you were so preoccupied with work and all that you didn't even notice."

            Helen laughed loudly catching Lindsay off guard.  "And here I thought…" she began, giggling at her stupidity.  Helen had become suspicious that something was going on between Bobby and Lindsay because of all their "late nights" working together.  And as it turned out, Lindsay wasn't even at the office those nights.  She grinned and shook her head.  Boy did she feel foolish.

            "What?" Lindsay asked, suddenly concerned for her hysterical friend.

            "N…nothing," Helen said, fighting back laughter.

            "Helen!"

            "Really, I'm fine," she insisted.  "Now let's just go back out there, and I'll take Bobby and leave, okay?"

            Lindsay nodded in gratitude.

            "However," Helen began.  "When I get home tonight, you _are_ going to give me all the juicy details!"

            "Of course!" Lindsay agreed, grinning.  "Now get back out there before you and Bobby both scare my date away!"

            Helen rolled her eyes as they both rushed out of the restroom.  She bit back a smile, as she saw the two guys.  They were both sitting next to each other, staring in opposite directions, neither uttering a word.

            "Aw look Linds," Helen teased quietly.  "They're friends already!"

            "Shh!" Lindsay remarked, but even she couldn't stop the smile that was forming on her face.

            "Uh, Bobby are you ready?" Helen asked as Lindsay sat back down.

            Bobby leapt up at the chance of leaving, making Lindsay's urge to laugh even harder to resist.

            "Leaving so soon?" Nick asked.

            "Uh yeah, the jury's back on our carjacking case," she lied.  

            "Well nice meeting you," he said.

            "Yup," Helen remarked.  "See you at home Linds."

            "Bye," she said, as Helen and Bobby walked away.

            "The jury's back?" he asked with a grin.

            She rolled her eyes.  "It was the first thing that popped into my mind.  Of course I could have always told him that your office was set on fire by a bra and a lamp."

            "Oh, now _that_ would have been more believable," he joked.

            Helen laughed, as he wrapped his arm around her.

            Her cell phone rang, and she groaned, not wanting to answer it.  She shot Bobby an annoyed look and answered it.

            "What do you want?" was her friendly greeting.

            She sighed as she heard who it was and what they wanted.

            "Okay Kate.  Yeah…I know," she remarked.  "I'll be there in fifteen."

            She hung up and threw her phone back in her pocket.

            "About a case?" Bobby asked.

            "Don't know," Helen said.  "All I know is she sounded pissed and wants to meet with me in person.  God only knows what she wants this time."

            "Maybe she wants to give you a fireproof bra," he suggested grinning.

            "Shut up," Helen remarked laughing quietly.

XXXXXX

Should I continue? Let me know with your reviews!


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